Hello from my cell phone

The Pink House

January 6, 2010

Today I began reflecting on my earliest memories as a small child. It is hard to conjure the memories that you have pressed down for so many years and bring them back to life --- but here I go.

I have slivers of several memories before I was 4 years old and as I started digging them up I found it is amazing how the memory bank works differently for each person. I have several brothers and a sister and we all have a different set of memories of our childhood. They are so different that I often ask myself, ‘Did we have the same childhood?’ the answer is simple – NO, we did not have the same childhood.

I have been shaped into the person I am today because of my ‘perception’ of the reality that I lived. I’m saying this to say --- my reality might not be the most purest or most accurate reality… it happens, we skew and distort the truth to fit in our mold of what we ‘feel’ we are experiencing… as you continue to read my story just remember that this is only my point of view of what happened.

Now, back to my earliest memories – I was 4 years old and living in Akron Ohio in a big beautiful pink house. It is amazing to me now what memories I kept of this house. I loved it – I know now, as an adult, that it wasn’t the house at all, but the sense of family and completeness I felt in this house. All of my memories in this house were relatively good and pre-abuse years of my life therefore I think I glamorized the image of this house in my memories just a tad; when in reality the house probably was nothing spectacular at all.

This house was a sweet powder pink with metal siding. This two story home felt like a princess house to me. How could any four year old little girl live in a pink house and not fantasize about being a princess. The house was two stories with a basement and many storage closets. Now the most exciting part of this house was the secret doors and passage ways. This is where I am not sure if reality bleeds into fantasy or not. I have a hunch that what I remember was more of make believe and the secret mystery games, we would play, coming out in me. I remember a secret door – but I also feel like I might be remembering a game we played that was not real at all; however my imagination was so active that it feels very real to me. Funny thing is that my brother remembers the same thing… have we conjured up these memories together? I don’t know – but it’s about the only positive memory of my childhood and I choose to hang on to it.

Our pink house sat on a hill overlooking a busy intersection in Akron Ohio. Just below the hill under the bridge to the right was a little candy store. I remember this because there were times we were in big trouble for going to this store. What a dream come true – to have your very own candy store in walking distance. In the winter time we would ride the sled down the hill and sneak over to the candy store before our mom could catch us. Sometimes I would have to be the ‘watch out’ girl for my older sister.

We had some great friends on that cobble stone street. The sad thing is that we couldn’t play with them unless we were very very sneaky. This was the late 1970’s and my step father was not too excited about mixing with ‘the coloreds’. He has since been enlightened to his ignorant ways and is very much okay with people being people no matter what color of their skin. In 1979 in the north… it wasn’t so much okay to him. I can not remember their faces… except my sister and I were drawn to them… maybe they were two sisters too – I don’t know. I remember one of their names was Plum… maybe it was Cherry. I remember this because my parents always called them something else… it was something ridiculous like – Dewberry or Sassafras. I liked those girls and we had fun together. We would ride bikes together... but I didn’t know how to ride a bike so the only way I could play with them is if I would ride on the back of their bike with them. I can remember one day playing with them and riding double on the bike…. And up pulls our step dad – I was terrified because he had told us A) don’t play with them… and… B) Don’t ride bikes double – it’s dangerous on this hill. When I saw his truck pull up (He was a truck driver) I knew I was in deep trouble. My sister and I ran for the house and tried to act like we had not been playing… but he knew.

I think it is so important for my girls to know that God created everyone – everything. He made it with His heart and He loves His creation. When we choose to follow Jesus we give up our own ‘rights’ and our own ‘impulsions’. The New King James version of 1Corinthians 6:19-22 reminds us of who owns us. Not only did God create us and therefore we belong to Him but when we surrender our hearts to him and commit to follow Him and his ways – we have chosen to sell out and He has indeed bought us. He paid the biggest price of all time for us – with The Blood of Jesus we were purchased that day on Calvary two thousand years ago. I tell my girls all the time and I pray they remember this… ‘We don’t get to choose if we love or not… We don’t get to choose if we are kinds to friends on the play ground or not… etc.’ We belong to God and so we have to do what He says. We must obey God. Do I always… NO! Do I want to? YES! I want to think about what God demands of me as a woman of God first… then react. Easier said than done… but when done, it is a powerful thing.

1 Corinthians 6:19-22 (New King James Version)

¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? ²⁰ For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

New Years Resolutions

Wow – 2010 is here. Today is January 5, 2010 and I am amazed that another year has come and gone and a New Year is here. It’s the time of year that everyone reflects on their regrets of the last year and their resolutions for the New Year. I have just one regret – not keeping my resolutions from last year.

This morning as I was working out with my good friend we chatted up our plans for the New Year. I have many dreams and desires… this morning as I was sharing with her my regrets of 2009 and resolutions for the New Year as I had a moment of clarity and certainty in my heart. I knew the only person that can make things happen for me is ME! If I have a passion to accomplish something, I am the only person keeping that from happening.

Here is my regret: I regret not writing this book years ago… I have had a burning in my soul to write a book – not just any book – but a book to my girls, for my girls. I want my little girls to have a piece of my heart to hold to long after I am gone. I want them to know the things in my past that made me who I am, the principles of God that brought me through the tragedies that I have endured. I want them to know the choices I made in my life that were good, bad and just plain ugly. I want them to know the real woman that they knew as ‘momma’!

Today I begin this journey – each day I will write a note to my girls… sharing the special moments we share, reflecting on my childhood and embracing the principles of God through each experience.

Photo from Averi & Karsens Birthday Party

Just oozing with love!

This week has been strangely odd. Our Danielle has always been a fairly good kid – I mean I am not one of those moms that thinks her kids is the ‘most honest’ ‘smartest’ ‘cutest’ kid on the block… well, I do think she is the cutest, but that besides the point. I know that my children are flawed and are on a journey to finding their place in this world. It was like Danielle went to bed last week and woke up this extra thoughtful, extra sweet, just oozing with love, kinda girl. She has blown me away with the amount of love she has been giving. I look at her and she has sure grown over the summer – and we have just begun the summer. She is a true blessing – I am so very proud of her.

This picture was taken at Averi & Karens Brithday party.

It was a 'grils dress up' party.

Day at the Pet Store

The girls and I enjoyed the morning at The Hair Venture getting their hair cut today. They are so cute - I think!

After the haircut we I went to Austin today to pick up some worms for the turtles. We visited a pet store there and let me tell you - i was totally grossed out!! YUK!!
Check out the photos.

This snack kept trying to get Dani through the glass.

We did LOVE seeing the turtles!! Then there was this HUGE Snake in with a turtle. Not for me at all -- Dani loved the pig a lot. she kept petting it. Abi was amused with the hamsters.



Me hab Guinne PIG!

Trying to be a better Blogger!

I loaded this blog thing and then never came back to it… I tend to do that with things that do not directly benefit ME! This week – I found that it will totally benefit me… I have some really close friends can not access facebook, myspace and other stuff at their work… so this will be a great way for them to see pictures of my kids and things we do – and it will get me out of the facebook addition I have.

We have been really excited about our summer vacation time – the girls last day of school was Thursday, May 28. Here are Pictures of Danielle and her teacher - Mrs. Thompson & Abigail and her teacher Mrs. Lupe. Two of the best teachers ever!! We had a wonderful year!! One we will remember forever!!

We have already gotten our moneys worth at splashway, that’s for sure.

Our most excited and recent news is our new turtle habitat. We LOVE turtles (as you will soon learn). We now have 16 babies and 6 bigger turtles – we are always open to expanding. For now, we just care for these. A sweet lady in Missouri City gave these to us and we are very thankful. I would love tone day rescue big turtles that have need of a new home. Enjoy the photos.