Passion paired with Knowledge

January 7, 2010

After spending the yesterday remembering that pretty pink house, I was reminded of the last day I ever spent at that house. It is a very clear memory and one that I think of often. What seemed to be a normal day turned out to be a day that would alter the entire world around me.
Our suitcases were getting packed and loaded onto a trailer. My mother put all of our other possession on the street and began to have a garage sale. She was selling everything and I was desperate to put the pieces together… what was happening? She was selling everything we owned and we were moving to Texas the next morning. I was crushed. Truly heart broken. I loved our life and could not understand why we were moving.
I spent the day running and playing in the front yard, that last day in Ohio, with my brother and sister. I had just learned to say the word Preparation H. Actually I had been bugging my mother so much that she told me I was causing her to need some Preparation H… I asked what is that? Why? …. She told me that I was a pain in her ass --- I didn’t understand… but I was obviously excited that I had learned this new word and went to the street and yelled it at the top of my lungs at the passing cars… Prep-A-Mention H!! I thought it was so funny. I then heard loud sirens and enormous horns honking as a huge fire truck turn under the bridge at the bottom of our hill headed up the intersection blaring its horns to clear the way. I was so scared but I yelled at the fire truck… Prep-A-Mention ….. When I watched another fire engine miss its turn, jump the medium and crash into the other engine and smashed itself all over the place. It was literally right before my eyes…. I was stunned and in shock.
I believe that I remember that last day I spent at my princess pink house because of the horrific image it left in my memory bank. I also know that I would have missed it all if I had not had the passion deep inside of me to share with the world my new discovery of the word Prep-A-Mention H! I think that too often we have just a little passion and drive; just enough to get us up in the morning and get ourselves to school or work. I never had ‘just a little passion’ – nope, not me. I think I was born with so much passion for life that I was physically unable to contain it. I always had to speak my thoughts and ideas from the mountain tops. Sometimes that is received as a good thing…and lots of the times it is… not so much!
I really love that I carry so much passion – I am often frustrated by others in my life that do not have the same level of passion for life. For example, I want to wake up in the morning and take the bull by the horns – conquer it and enjoy its horns as my trophy. On the other hand my husband sees life in a much calmer aspect. He would rather sleep in late, hope the bull gets all its energy out early so when the time is right he can maneuver the bull where he wants it. I am bored and frustrated with this mindset… but guess what – it works for him. Me… I cant control it .. I have to give life my all – I just have to.
What I have learned in my life is this… just like I was passionate about the new addition to my growing vocabulary and creamed it from the mountain top causing an awful wreck – there are those that have a quieter approach to life. It takes wisdom to bring your passion to a productive level. I think it is important to have passion… and be able to scream it out loud – however; it is just as important to hold it in till the right time to scream it out… or gently whisper it. Proverbs 19:2 and 3 speak of this perfectly – if we take our zeal and pair it with knowledge… it is money in the bank. We have to know what to do with our zeal to make it work for us and others around us. The saddest thing I have seen in myself and others is being foolish and making dumb decisions that bring ruin to my life… and then being angry at God for what a mess our life has turned into… it’s not His fault that I chose to be full of zeal with out knowledge… don’t blame God for how life turns out – we have such a huge part in what is happening around us.

Proverbs 19:1-3 (New International Version)
2It is not good to have zeal without knowledge,
nor to be hasty and miss the way.
3 A man's own folly ruins his life,
yet his heart rages against the LORD.